To think that I have been here for almost 8 weeks is hard to rap my mind around. Time here is so different. On one hand, I feel like I was just boarding my plane in Houston back in May, and on the other hand I feel like I have been here forever. I looked at the calendar this morning and counted the days I have left at The Oasis, 11. Eleven days feels like nothing. I have just barely started to former stronger relationships with these girls and in only a few days I have to say my final goodbyes.
Earlier this week, I feel like I made a breakthrough with one of my girls. Rather, God allowed me to see a breakthrough in my relationship with her. I will call her Emma. Emma is one of the sweetest girls here at The Oasis. She always wants to come up and give everyone the biggest hug, and she fills Casa Naranja (the house where I eat breakfast and dinner) with smiles and laughter almost constantly. There is something more to her smile than just happiness; you can see complete joy in her! I am captivated by how happy this sweet girl is.
It all started early last week when our director showed us a video about The Oasis that had a few testimonies of some of our girls. Emma’s testimony was first. Within the first 30 seconds of her recounting all of the terrible things that she had experienced before coming to The Oasis, I was balling. I know why all of these girls are here, but sometimes it’s easy to shove that to the back of my mind in the day-to-day work that I have to do. After hearing her story, I felt much closer to her. She had been one girl in my house that I had especially bonded with, but after knowing where she came from, I felt that much more connected to her.
On Friday night I came into Casa Naranja, and sweet Emma was nowhere to be found. She is usually the first to run up and give me a huge hug so I was immediately concerned. When our Tía called all the girls in for dinner, Emma came in with her eyes firmly fixed on the ground and did not say a word to anyone. While everyone else was talking, joking, and laughing through dinner, I was barely able to make eye contact with her more than once. It broke my heart to see her so upset because I knew exactly what was going on. Visitor’s day was that following morning, and Emma and I both knew that based on the decisions of the courts, her mom would not be allowed to come. As much pain as these girls’ parents have caused them, they still can’t help but long for their families, if nothing else, to show how much they forgive them.
As dinner slowly finished and the girls were still gathered around the table I moved from my chair to where she was sitting. I didn’t say a word, but all I could do was throw my arms around her and hold her. She immediately buried her face in my chest and did a remarkable job of holding back her tears. It was all I could do not to start crying. As everyone began to leave the table and clean up after dinner, Emma and I just sat there. Neither of us said a word.
One of my favorite hymns ever written is “It is Well with My Soul.” I know it in Spanish, so I barely sang the chorus into her ear and just tried to remind her of how much God loved her. She gave me the slightest nod in agreement as I told her how much God loves her, and we just sat there together. I told her that we could talk, but I knew very well that she did not need words or a conversation. She just needed someone to hold on to and bury her face for a little while.
If I leave here in 11 days with nothing more than that small, 10 minute experience, I will have no doubt in my mind that I was placed here by God in this specific time for this specific purpose. I am humbled to my core that God has allowed me to be a part of this very special little girl’s life and see just a glimpse into her beautiful heart.
All the frustration, the health issues, the homesickness, the culture shock, the loneliness, and the times in the desert all fade away in a moment like that. God allowed me to physically care for His sweet daughter in the same way that the Lord has cared for me in so many dark times in my life. I am in awe. A blessing like that is worth far more to me than anything else that I could possibly gain in this world.
I am so glad to say that Emma is back to her joyful, beautiful self. I know she is still in the process of healing from very deep wounds, but I can also tell that she genuinely believes that God loves her and that He is her ultimate protector. Just because of that one moment, I would never trade this trip for anything else I could have possibly done this summer.
Please do not stop praying for these sweet girls like Emma who have a lot of hurt in their past that they are still dealing with. I am learning the lesson of forgiveness right there with them, and God’s love is so tangible in the times when one of these sweet girls says wholeheartedly that she forgives the people in her past who hurt her so terribly. God has become more real to me in this trip than He ever has before, and it’s not over yet! :D
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