When I was preparing for this trip, several close friends, family, and I all prayed that The Lord would go before and prepare the way for me. Little did I know, in going before me, he had prepared this very simple question that has met me head on, "Do you believe that I am truly enough?"
It would be a lie to say that my first few days here have not been hard, in fact, they have been some of the hardest I have ever had to face. My Spanish needs a lot more work than I thought, which makes communicating with people very difficult. I am going through a lot of culture shock. I miss my parents, my sister, my friends, and my boyfriend. All of these people who play such an integral role in my life can only be accessed through email and the occasional skype conversation. Also, being disconnected from a strong church body has been one of the hardest things. All of this combined has created some very challening days.
So this question has slapped me in the face. Without comfort, the ability to communicate, safety, friends, family, and a church Body, do I TRULY believe that God is enough for me? The Sunday before I left, my pastor, Allen, gave a sermon about idols and used this definition: Idols are good things that people turn in to ultimate things. As the Lord has begun to reveal the insane amount of idolatry in my heart, I have to face the fact that a lot of the time, my sinful heart doesn't believe that God is enough.
As I sit in another country, alone for the most part, I realize that there is no reason to believe that He is not enough. He is bigger than safety, language barriers, comfort, and homesickness. He is the Lord of Lords, and He has called me to this for a specific reason.
I pray daily that I can lean on Him with every fiber of my being and that everyday I will draw closer to Him.
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