This will be a short post because it has been a long day and I am exhausted!!
I am so glad to FINALLY be in Guatemala! My mind is all jumbled up with different emotions and thoughts, coupled with exhaustion. I have been up since 5:20 am, and I haven't gotten a break yet, but I love it.
Mike and Sandi, the CAM missionaries, have been wonderful. They are helping me get accustomed to the culture and lifestyle down here, and they have been so welcoming. I am already falling in love with the people here, but I can also tell that I am going to struggle with homesickness. Right now, 10 weeks feels like a super long time to be away from my family and friends, but 10 weeks from now I will look back at this and realize how short of a time it really was.
My prayer is that the Lord will use me in a way that absolutely shocks me. I pray that I can just get out of His way and let Him work and move in such a way that when I look back on it, the only explanation is GOD!
For now, please pray for:
-Boldness both in sharing the Gospel and in speaking Spanish (I have been very timid to use my Spanish so far)
-God's will to be done in every aspect of this trip
-A willing heart to learn this language/culture/people
-Safety, but not at the expense of God's will being done and His glory reigning through this mission.
I love you all and I will post a longer blog soon :D
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Single Digits
Today marks T-9 days before I leave. I'm in the single digits of the countdown. A few days ago I looked back at all the emails I had in correspondence with CAM and realized that this has been in the making for over a year (even though God prepared for it before I was ever brought into existence by Him). My first email dates back to March 22, 2010. That's insane! I have been praying about this and preparing for this for so long, and now it is ALMOST here! I have all my shots and vaccinations, have filled out my paperwork, have done all the logistical things I could, and by the beautiful provision of God raised all the money that I need (PRAISE THE LORD!).
Now, it's actually time to go. No more talking, contemplating, or planning. The only thing left is to pack my suitcase, get on that plane next Tuesday, and step out in faith. I have been given such amazing words of encouragement from my parents, other family members, amazing boyfriend, and beautiful friends. I can honestly say that while there is so much I can't really prepare my heart for until I am there, I truly feel that my heart is ready. In the Great Commission, Christ never said "Go and make disciples if you feel called." He simply said "GO". I don't really see much of a choice or suggestion in that. God has given us a CLEAR commandment to go. Not everyone will be called to overseas missions, but all of us have been called. As my pastor, Allen, has put it, "Christian and missionary are and should be synonyms."
Sharing the Gospel is not an option, nor should it be considered a terrible burden on the life of a Christian. The Gospel, the good news of Jesus Christ, is the greatest love story ever told. And here it is:
God, the sustainer and creator of all things, created the world and all that is in the world. He created man in His image for His glory. Man, namely Adam and Eve, sinned against God, causing separation between God and Man. Because of this separation we can no longer live in harmony with God. However, in His infinite and indescribable grace and mercy, God gave His son, Jesus Christ over to the world. Christ was born of a virgin, Mary, and lived a perfect, sinless life, preaching about God and His love for all mankind. Christ became the atonement for the sins of all people, past, present, and future. He was crucified on the cross and rose from the dead three days later, signifying that He conquered death and atoned for sins. On the part of any man or woman who comes to believe in God, it is only by God's grace that we are saved. When our hearts become softened to this great love story, and we not only believe all of these things, but have a repentant heart and name Jesus Christ as the ruler and Lord of our life, only then are we saved.
Our purpose and lives as believers should be marked by that truth. That Jesus Christ who was fully God and fully man, sacrificed Himself in his infinite love and paid our debt that we could never pay. Our lives as believers should reflect that beautiful and undeserved sacrifice. THAT is why I am going to Guatemala, and THAT is where the purpose of my life begins. I am here to glorify God and proclaim His name. Whether that is in College Station, TX or Guatemala City, I am here for HIM, for Christ and Christ alone.
He is my protector, savior, and Lord over my life. He decided my paths, and He will make them straight. My career path is not my own, my money is not my own, my time is not my own, my life is not my own. It is fully and completely His. If you call yourself a Christian, understand that your life, your time, your money, your ____________ should not be your own.
Now, it's actually time to go. No more talking, contemplating, or planning. The only thing left is to pack my suitcase, get on that plane next Tuesday, and step out in faith. I have been given such amazing words of encouragement from my parents, other family members, amazing boyfriend, and beautiful friends. I can honestly say that while there is so much I can't really prepare my heart for until I am there, I truly feel that my heart is ready. In the Great Commission, Christ never said "Go and make disciples if you feel called." He simply said "GO". I don't really see much of a choice or suggestion in that. God has given us a CLEAR commandment to go. Not everyone will be called to overseas missions, but all of us have been called. As my pastor, Allen, has put it, "Christian and missionary are and should be synonyms."
Sharing the Gospel is not an option, nor should it be considered a terrible burden on the life of a Christian. The Gospel, the good news of Jesus Christ, is the greatest love story ever told. And here it is:
God, the sustainer and creator of all things, created the world and all that is in the world. He created man in His image for His glory. Man, namely Adam and Eve, sinned against God, causing separation between God and Man. Because of this separation we can no longer live in harmony with God. However, in His infinite and indescribable grace and mercy, God gave His son, Jesus Christ over to the world. Christ was born of a virgin, Mary, and lived a perfect, sinless life, preaching about God and His love for all mankind. Christ became the atonement for the sins of all people, past, present, and future. He was crucified on the cross and rose from the dead three days later, signifying that He conquered death and atoned for sins. On the part of any man or woman who comes to believe in God, it is only by God's grace that we are saved. When our hearts become softened to this great love story, and we not only believe all of these things, but have a repentant heart and name Jesus Christ as the ruler and Lord of our life, only then are we saved.
Our purpose and lives as believers should be marked by that truth. That Jesus Christ who was fully God and fully man, sacrificed Himself in his infinite love and paid our debt that we could never pay. Our lives as believers should reflect that beautiful and undeserved sacrifice. THAT is why I am going to Guatemala, and THAT is where the purpose of my life begins. I am here to glorify God and proclaim His name. Whether that is in College Station, TX or Guatemala City, I am here for HIM, for Christ and Christ alone.
He is my protector, savior, and Lord over my life. He decided my paths, and He will make them straight. My career path is not my own, my money is not my own, my time is not my own, my life is not my own. It is fully and completely His. If you call yourself a Christian, understand that your life, your time, your money, your ____________ should not be your own.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
"If I Die in Guatemala, I die in Guatemala. If I don't, I don't."
What might seem like a pretty morbid quote to start off this post is actually a direct quote from the sermon I heard tonight at church, New Life, from my pastor, Allen.
We are going through a series on Ruth at New Life, and tonight the sermon was all about trusting in God's providential care for our lives. It was a sermon I definitely needed to hear, and not just in terms of my upcoming trip. There were some amazing things that Allen said that God used to really speak to me.
1. Allen explained that people can do one of two things when they don't fully trust in God with their futures. The first is Frantic Activity; people will go crazy trying to make every possible preparation and go to extended, almost crazy lengths to make sure their future is taken care of. They micromanage everything in their life and won't stop until they get exactly what they want. The second is despondency; basically it's pure laziness. These people do virtually nothing to work for things in their future. These are the people who are careless about their future and are not proactive in the slightest bit. Of course, these are two extremes, but, like all extremes, people usually err on one side or the other. I am the type of person who errs on the side of despondency. I would rather just not think about my future, and I tend to always say, "it will take care of itself." While I can't do this sermon justice, Allen explained that both sides of this spectrum are wrong. The Frantic Activity holds so tightly to control over the future, that letting God take control is close to impossible. The despondency pushes God's omniscience and providential care to the side; his control over our lives is out of sight, out of mind. As Allen spoke, I realized that because I err on the side of despondency, I have not come to terms with what my future might look like. It is a GOOD thing to prepare for and think about my future. It should just be thought of in terms of GOD'S WILL for what my future should look like. Pushing it out of my mind is just as reckless as thinking about it 24/7/365.
2. Allen talked specifically about death. As humans, we will ALL suffer the penalty of death. We are sinful both by nature and choice. We will all die. But another beautiful thing about having a life in Christ is that we can live without fear of death. We know for an absolute fact that it is coming, but we can also rest in the fact that we will be reconciled to Christ after death.
3. Several members of our church are taking a week-long mission trip to Guatemala over spring break. As Allen unpacked this idea of death and what our view of it should be, he brought up Guatemala. Simply put, it's not a very safe place to live. That's when he uttered the words that title this post, "If I die in Guatemala, I die in Guatemala. If I don't, I don't." He went on to explain that because God is in control, the day that we die and leave this earth is the day that THE LORD WILLED. None of us will die any sooner than when it is God's will for us to be dead. It made me come to terms with the fact that I could die in Guatemala. I don't say that to make myself seem like a martyr or put some sort of ominous weight on this trip. Frankly, I could step outside tomorrow and get hit by a bus. NONE OF US ARE GUARANTEED TOMORROW! I am not even guaranteed that I will live long enough to go on this trip. I prepare for it and plan for it because I firmly believe that is God's will for my life. If I die tomorrow, to God be the glory. If I die in Guatemala, to God be the Glory. If I die when I'm 85 with a husband, children, and grandchildren to succeed me, once again, to God be the glory!
We must trust in God's providential care for our life. He will take care of our necessities. As Allen said tonight (I am paraphrasing), "Our greatest necessity is not any earthly need. Our greatest necessity is reconciliation to God, The Father." God has already given us our greatest need, how much more proof do we want that he will provide for our earthly needs as well? So, if I die in Guatemala, then I die in Guatemala. If I don't, I don't. But either way, WHEN I die, it will undoubtedly be the very second that God wills it to be.
"Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?" -Matthew 6:26-27
We are going through a series on Ruth at New Life, and tonight the sermon was all about trusting in God's providential care for our lives. It was a sermon I definitely needed to hear, and not just in terms of my upcoming trip. There were some amazing things that Allen said that God used to really speak to me.
1. Allen explained that people can do one of two things when they don't fully trust in God with their futures. The first is Frantic Activity; people will go crazy trying to make every possible preparation and go to extended, almost crazy lengths to make sure their future is taken care of. They micromanage everything in their life and won't stop until they get exactly what they want. The second is despondency; basically it's pure laziness. These people do virtually nothing to work for things in their future. These are the people who are careless about their future and are not proactive in the slightest bit. Of course, these are two extremes, but, like all extremes, people usually err on one side or the other. I am the type of person who errs on the side of despondency. I would rather just not think about my future, and I tend to always say, "it will take care of itself." While I can't do this sermon justice, Allen explained that both sides of this spectrum are wrong. The Frantic Activity holds so tightly to control over the future, that letting God take control is close to impossible. The despondency pushes God's omniscience and providential care to the side; his control over our lives is out of sight, out of mind. As Allen spoke, I realized that because I err on the side of despondency, I have not come to terms with what my future might look like. It is a GOOD thing to prepare for and think about my future. It should just be thought of in terms of GOD'S WILL for what my future should look like. Pushing it out of my mind is just as reckless as thinking about it 24/7/365.
2. Allen talked specifically about death. As humans, we will ALL suffer the penalty of death. We are sinful both by nature and choice. We will all die. But another beautiful thing about having a life in Christ is that we can live without fear of death. We know for an absolute fact that it is coming, but we can also rest in the fact that we will be reconciled to Christ after death.
3. Several members of our church are taking a week-long mission trip to Guatemala over spring break. As Allen unpacked this idea of death and what our view of it should be, he brought up Guatemala. Simply put, it's not a very safe place to live. That's when he uttered the words that title this post, "If I die in Guatemala, I die in Guatemala. If I don't, I don't." He went on to explain that because God is in control, the day that we die and leave this earth is the day that THE LORD WILLED. None of us will die any sooner than when it is God's will for us to be dead. It made me come to terms with the fact that I could die in Guatemala. I don't say that to make myself seem like a martyr or put some sort of ominous weight on this trip. Frankly, I could step outside tomorrow and get hit by a bus. NONE OF US ARE GUARANTEED TOMORROW! I am not even guaranteed that I will live long enough to go on this trip. I prepare for it and plan for it because I firmly believe that is God's will for my life. If I die tomorrow, to God be the glory. If I die in Guatemala, to God be the Glory. If I die when I'm 85 with a husband, children, and grandchildren to succeed me, once again, to God be the glory!
We must trust in God's providential care for our life. He will take care of our necessities. As Allen said tonight (I am paraphrasing), "Our greatest necessity is not any earthly need. Our greatest necessity is reconciliation to God, The Father." God has already given us our greatest need, how much more proof do we want that he will provide for our earthly needs as well? So, if I die in Guatemala, then I die in Guatemala. If I don't, I don't. But either way, WHEN I die, it will undoubtedly be the very second that God wills it to be.
"Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?" -Matthew 6:26-27
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Tickets
Today has been a memorable day. I kind of took what I consider to be the "last step" in this whole preparation process. I purchased my plane tickets. Every time I post, I say how much more real this whole thing is becoming, and the same holds true tonight. I don't think what I am doing is going to sink in until I actually board my flight in Houston, but this is just crazy. I not only know the days that I will get there, but I know exact times of day.
It was a big deal for me to finally purchase those plane tickets and to finally have a tangible view of this trip. When I purchased the tickets I was asked, "How do you feel?" My answer was, "A little bit of everything...excited, anxious, nervous, happy, curious..." But now, as I sit here writing this I feel only one thing, a sure sense from the Lord that this trip for the summer is undoubtedly from Him. I feel a beautiful peace about it. My safety will be much less, my comfort zone is going to be MILES from home, my support system will be gone, and yet I have never felt so much beautiful confidence in the Lord that I will be completely taken care of. He is with me, and is leading me to this place for a purpose. All I can do is trust His will and set my eyes towards Him in worship to the ultimate end of glorifying His name and living for HIS KINGDOM.
It was a big deal for me to finally purchase those plane tickets and to finally have a tangible view of this trip. When I purchased the tickets I was asked, "How do you feel?" My answer was, "A little bit of everything...excited, anxious, nervous, happy, curious..." But now, as I sit here writing this I feel only one thing, a sure sense from the Lord that this trip for the summer is undoubtedly from Him. I feel a beautiful peace about it. My safety will be much less, my comfort zone is going to be MILES from home, my support system will be gone, and yet I have never felt so much beautiful confidence in the Lord that I will be completely taken care of. He is with me, and is leading me to this place for a purpose. All I can do is trust His will and set my eyes towards Him in worship to the ultimate end of glorifying His name and living for HIS KINGDOM.
Sing to the Lord a new song, his praise from the end of the earth, you who go down to the sea, and all that fills it, the coastlands and their inhabitants. Let the desert and its cities lift up their voice, the villages that Kedar inhabits; let the habitants of Sela sing for joy, let them shout from the top of the mountains. Let them give glory to the Lord, and declare his praise in the coastlands.-Isaiah 42:10-12
Friday, December 17, 2010
Time is flying by!
WOW!! So another semester has absolutely flown by in the blink of an eye! I still can't believe I am on break for an entire month. I won't know what to do with myself. But the fact that this semester went by so fast has made me realize how fast May 12 will come. I leave in less than 5 months. That seems so long, but I know it will be here before I know it.
God has been revealing so much to me in these past few months in preparing my heart for this. He has exposed sins of pride and selfishness which continually forces me to recall how incredibly dependent I have to be on Him. While my Spanish gets better everyday, I still have a long way to go. (One beautiful praise is that I have never gotten so much joy out of studying in my life.) I have never been in a foreign country for more than 6 days...tonight my Dad also told me the news is reporting that drug cartels from Mexico have moved South into Guate. It is a scary truth that for 10 weeks, my safety will be drastically reduced. All of these things and more scare me, and make me realize how inadequate I am. I am so humbled by the fact that the Lord called me, even in my stubbornness, to be used by Him for an amazing mission in His name. I never saw myself as someone who would be involved in international missions, but ever since I was accepted as a CAM Intern, God has burdened my heart for international missions.
He is teaching me to daily cling to Him and press into the Spirit. It is in times when I find myself starting to rely on my own strengths and talents that God gracefully brings me to my knees and reminds me of who He is, and who I am not.
On an exciting note, several people have given me addresses to send out support packets to, including a few people who I don't even know. The amount of support I have already gotten has been overwhelming. I have also been given the opportunity to show a portion of my video in a church service at my home church in Midland on December 26. I am praying that God will provide both financial sponsors and prayer supporters who can join with me to cover this mission in prayer. In everything I have learned, I know that God is sovereign and His plan is perfect. No matter my fears or reservations, His loving call on me to this specific act of obedience has taught me and will continue to teach me SO much.
I love how amazing He is. I love how He loves. I love who He is and that I have the undeserved privilege to find my identity in Christ.
God has been revealing so much to me in these past few months in preparing my heart for this. He has exposed sins of pride and selfishness which continually forces me to recall how incredibly dependent I have to be on Him. While my Spanish gets better everyday, I still have a long way to go. (One beautiful praise is that I have never gotten so much joy out of studying in my life.) I have never been in a foreign country for more than 6 days...tonight my Dad also told me the news is reporting that drug cartels from Mexico have moved South into Guate. It is a scary truth that for 10 weeks, my safety will be drastically reduced. All of these things and more scare me, and make me realize how inadequate I am. I am so humbled by the fact that the Lord called me, even in my stubbornness, to be used by Him for an amazing mission in His name. I never saw myself as someone who would be involved in international missions, but ever since I was accepted as a CAM Intern, God has burdened my heart for international missions.
He is teaching me to daily cling to Him and press into the Spirit. It is in times when I find myself starting to rely on my own strengths and talents that God gracefully brings me to my knees and reminds me of who He is, and who I am not.
On an exciting note, several people have given me addresses to send out support packets to, including a few people who I don't even know. The amount of support I have already gotten has been overwhelming. I have also been given the opportunity to show a portion of my video in a church service at my home church in Midland on December 26. I am praying that God will provide both financial sponsors and prayer supporters who can join with me to cover this mission in prayer. In everything I have learned, I know that God is sovereign and His plan is perfect. No matter my fears or reservations, His loving call on me to this specific act of obedience has taught me and will continue to teach me SO much.
I love how amazing He is. I love how He loves. I love who He is and that I have the undeserved privilege to find my identity in Christ.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
IT'S FINALLY READY!!
THE SUPPORT VIDEO IS DONE! WOOHOOOO!!!!!!
WATCH IT NOW!! YAY!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t372TtWGv2I
LOVE YOU ALL!!! WHOOOOOP! :D
WATCH IT NOW!! YAY!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t372TtWGv2I
LOVE YOU ALL!!! WHOOOOOP! :D
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Just thinking...
This will be another short one...
I'm in the process of finishing up the editing for my support video. Each day this trip becomes more real, and each day my fears are made known. My prayer life has grown exceedingly in asking for God's wisdom and peace through this time of preparation. As my Spanish skills progress and May 12 gets closer, the more I have to rely on the strength of the Lord.
My flesh and my spirit are in a constant battle of sin, repentance, and sanctification. Preparing for this mission and relying fully on the Lord is harder than I would have ever thought. I am unsure of my own abilities, but I know if I rely on the Lord, everything will work for His glory!
Then I said, Ah, Lord God! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am only a youth. But the Lord said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a youth'; for to all to whom I send you, you shall go, and whatever I command you, you shall speak. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you, declares the Lord."
-Jermiah 1:6-8
I'm in the process of finishing up the editing for my support video. Each day this trip becomes more real, and each day my fears are made known. My prayer life has grown exceedingly in asking for God's wisdom and peace through this time of preparation. As my Spanish skills progress and May 12 gets closer, the more I have to rely on the strength of the Lord.
My flesh and my spirit are in a constant battle of sin, repentance, and sanctification. Preparing for this mission and relying fully on the Lord is harder than I would have ever thought. I am unsure of my own abilities, but I know if I rely on the Lord, everything will work for His glory!
Then I said, Ah, Lord God! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am only a youth. But the Lord said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a youth'; for to all to whom I send you, you shall go, and whatever I command you, you shall speak. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you, declares the Lord."
-Jermiah 1:6-8
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)